The Expendables – *

Posted: July 20, 2017 in 2010, Action, USA, X

There are times when the brain doesn’t want to think and just be entertained. With action and laughter. And a little bit of nostalgia. The Expendables has a lot of car chases/shootings/explosions, silly one liners and cinema heroes from the eighties.

However, somehow, all these elements don’t really make the experience entertaining enough. More than 200 people get killed in this one. (in fact 221 according to Kill Count) But none of them are really killed in a cool Tarantino kind of way. Apart from that one scene where Stallone stabs a guy in the throat and then turns around the knife a few times. Not really cool, but at least it was different.

Yes, it’s a movie with and directed by Sylvester Stallone. And yes, the list of cast members is impressive. But most of them just have cameo’s. That one scene with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger is funny, but redundant. You watch this movie because you want to see the interaction between these guys, not for a one scene joke.

There’s a story of course. But it’s too silly to even start summarizing.

The Expendables 2 is also on the shelf. (they only cost 1 euro). But not sure if it will ever make it to the dvd player.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/

The BFG – (*)

Posted: June 25, 2017 in 1/2, 2016, Children/Family, USA

OMG

What a bore.

Even children may find this incredibly boring.

No humor. No suspense. No drama. No adventure. No story.

This one was tough to finish.

Yawn

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3691740

Ehm.

Not sure what to think of this beautifully animated and original Pacific Islander’s tale. Some elements are extraordinary. The animation itself for instance. It’s a marvel for the eyes. Or the main character, a strong and adventurous female role model. But other elements are just annoying. The side characters for instance. A silly chicken, which comicial use is getting repetitive by the end. A piglet, which only gets three scenes. And a tatoo drawing, which comes to life as some kind of subconsciousness. However, the most annyoing element of them all is the score, with songs that seem to have been composed to sing on a stage in Broadway.

The story isn’t a medieval fairytale, but a legend as told to inhabitants of the Pacific Ocean. It’s a great story about a demigod who stole the heart of a nature goddess, who turned into an evil power, disrupting nature. And a girl, chosen to help the demigod bring back the heart and restore nature. The demigod is voiced by The Rock, who really does a good job to be honest. But the demigod looks awefull! They could have designed him a bit more attractive.

So, yeah.

It’s an okay movie. For kids and their parents. Both will enjoy parts of it. Just not the same.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3521164/

Get Out – **(*)

Posted: May 19, 2017 in 2017, Fantasy, Thriller, USA, XX1/2

A black guy goes on a weekend to meet the parents of his white girlfriend for the very first time. But something doesn’t feel quite right. There’s only a few other blacks around the house and they act all weird. Things go really bad when his girlfriend’s mother suggests to hypnotize him to get rid of his smoking addiction…

This is a movie to go watch when you’re in an interracial relationship ! And if you’re not, go see it anyways. It’s good. A bit predictable, but well done. It’s not really a thriller, nor is it a horror story. It’s more of an social critical experiment and it works. It entertains for it’s entire length. There’s a bit of everything and even the funny moments are spot on. The acting is good. The story is unique. It should get a higher score. But in the end, it’s just a good movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5052448

Christine – *(*)

Posted: May 18, 2017 in 2016, Drama, USA, X1/2

This is one of the rare cases where you do want to give the end away to understand what the story is leading up to:  a journalist commits suicide, live on tv. There you go. It’s also the only real fact that is historically correct. All the rest, the leading up to the finale, is just an interpretation of what this woman may have gone through in the days leading up to her death. It really helps to know that this is a movie about a woman committing suicide, because after an hour into the movie your patience will be tested. Woody Allen did a better job depicting a mentally unstable, but still functioning character in Blue Jasmin, a movie in which both the director, storyteller and actress equal each others’ talent. In Christine it’s basically just Rebecca Hall who steals the show and carries the project. She’s really good, but can’t help make you wonder where the story actually will lead you to.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4666726

There should be a new MPAA rating that says: Only For Kids!

The set up is cool though. The story tells the adventure of several apartment pets who venture out away from their comfort zone in the quest for a missing dog and his new companion. Most of the scenes are inspired by funny animal clips on youtube. And some of them are funny. One character in particular is hilarious: Gidget. And Kevin Hart forcing a revengeful bunny is also quite unique. But the story itself just doesn’t make a lot of sense. There are a lot of other animation movies out there they give a better feel of satisfaction.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2709768

Trainwreck – *

Posted: May 18, 2017 in 2015, Comedy, USA, X

Ehm.

No.

Sorry, Amy. You are not thát funny.

For every good joke there are at least twenty bad ones.

And sure, it’s great to play a woman that does whatever women think men do all the time. But it’s not consistent.

So, yeah.

No.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3152624