Prometheus – *

Posted: June 10, 2012 in 2012, Science Fiction, USA, X

There are science fiction movies that make sense while watching them. Inception is one. Strange Days is another. It stays science fiction of course, but the way the story is told makes the movie credible. The story of Prometheus however, doesn’t make sense at all and starts to annoy after a while.  Actually it already annoys after 10 minutes. The adventure takes place in 2093! Honestly, it’s 2012 and we’re not even on Mars! How can we possibly believe that in 80 years we’ll travel light years into space! And that’s just one small detail. They leave earth, travel 2 years to ‘destination unknown’ (according to the data on the screen) and in the next scene the space craft computer says: we arrived at our destination. Then a whole crew of 17 wake up and start eating, smoking, drinking, vomiting as if nothing happened. Well, the vomiting actually happens because of the travel. But still. They get off the space craft, walk towards an unknown hollow rock, enter it, find dead bodies and weird substances. All within 12 hours after waking up. You’d think they’d prepare the whole research a bit better having travelled all that way without knowing what to expect. Okay, I’ll stop before someone thinks: ‘what did you expect from a movie like this?’. Well, a) I wanted to be entertained; b) I wanted to be amazed by the visual and special effects; c) I wanted to maybe get scared a bit and d) I wanted to look at Charlize Theron and Idris Elba. I wasn’t entertained, but annoyed. I wished I had opted for the 3D version even though I hate wearing those stupid glasses, because to me the only cool special effects were made for the 3D audience. I was never scared, just because I thought the story was crap and predictable. AND Charlize Theron and Idris Elba SUCKED! Theron is the ice queen leader of the space craft. Elba is the wannabe cooler than hell captain. Their characters are clichés and they have stupid lines. Elba: “Just tell me if you want to fuck. All you have to do is ask.” Theron: “I didn’t leave earth and travel 2 years to have sex with somebody”. Elba: “Are you a robot?” Theron: “My room, in ten minutes”. Really??????????????????????? Do people get paid to write this crap? Nobody in the audience laughed. Not one single person. Joke fail of the year. Luckily for Theron and Elba, all the other actors were worse (apart from Michael Fassbender maybe). Logan Marshall-Green? Who? Terrible. And Noomi Rapace (who was awesome in the Millennium trilogy)? Overacting. Where’s Sigourney Weaver when we need her? Oh, she’s on another planet doing more Avatar stuff.

Hm. Waste of money. But hey, maybe you’ll like it. Who knows. A lot of people seem to enjoy it and I didn’t leave the theatre either. I was kind of intrigued by the ‘search for our makers’, but then totally got turned off by the main character wearing a christian cross. I’m sorry,, but if you’re so christian then stay on earth and don’t do science.

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