Archive for the ‘Action’ Category

The Hitman’s Bodyguard – **

Posted: November 24, 2019 in 2017, Action, Comedy, USA, XX

“You haven’t seen Hollywood’s chase scene in Amsterdam yet?”

Several Dutch friends, acquaintances and colleagues have recommended me this scene, but no. I hadn’t. Until now.

The famous scene takes place about an hour into the movie though and only lasts 6 minutes or so. It’s a fun scene, nothing all that special, but just cool to see it take place in a city that you know really well. It’s like the Paris car chase in Lucy. That was also fun to watch.

The entire movie is actually not all that bad. It’s an action comedy with an unlikely duo. One is a hitman, who’s imprisoned in the UK and needs to testify against a Belarus tyrant in The Hague. The other is a special bodyguard who needs to protect him against possible assassination attempts. The hitman is Samuel – motherfucking – L. Jackson and the bodyguard is Ryan Reynolds. Their chemistry is good. The action scenes are well choreographed. It’s fast paced, brains on hold, pulp entertainment with a massive body count and Selma Hayek in the funniest scene.

www.imdb.com/title/tt195956

 

As a Tarantino fan, I always wondered why I hated Kill Bill: Volume 1 so much and why I never bothered watching Kill Bill: Volume 2. 

15 years later it’s clear why: these are just pretentious, badly edited, poorly acted, faux-hommage action flicks with hardly any humor and – more surprisingly – hardly any cool fight scenes! At least those should have been wel choreographed, but no.

At least, I finished Volume 2 this time. Which is an achievement on its own.

www.imdb.com/title/tt0266697

www.imdb.com/title/tt0378194

 

 

According to the ten year old son of a good friend, this is the BEST. MOVIE. EVER.

When I was ten, E.T. was the best movie ever.

That said. Hobbs & Shaw is quite a fun movie. It’s action packed. There are funny dialogues. Main leads Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham have good chemistry. Idris Elba is great as the bad guy. (he should always be the bad guy). Princess Margaret from The Crown is kicking ass and strangling people in a more efficient way than Sylvester Stallone has ever done. Or Schwarzenegger. Or Van Damme. Or Seagal. Cliff Curtis is in it! And Helen Mirren! Oh, and unfortunately Kevin Hart as well. There are chase scenes in London and battle scenes in Samoa!

Not sure why I’ve never watched any of the previous episodes in this Fast & Furious Franchise, but this is a great introduction.

Not sure why it’s not a bigger box office success. Is it too British? Is it too different form the other movies? It’s the story, some say.

Ehm. Who needs a story in these kind of movies? Here’s the story: a secret agency wants a dangerous virus, created to help humankind, but re-programmable into a very deadly genocide wipeout virus. A woman on the run has injected the virus into her body and both the CIA and MI6 are sending their best asset to stop the woman/virus getting into the wrong hands. Yes. The story makes NO sense at all. But it’s fun!!!!

www.imdb.com/title/tt6806448

Disappointing.

In November 2008, Mumbai experienced a series of terrorist attacks, amongst which one at the famous Taj hotel. This Australian production tells that story.

Somehow it just doesn’t work. If this were fictitious it would be a lousy action thriller. But it’s based on true events, so it’s even worse. It’s really bizarre, because it feels like an action thriller. The kind with Sylvester Stallone or JC Van Damme. Not the kind with Bruce Willis.

There’s a lot of shooting and – spoiler alert – almost everyone dies. So, knowing this, it’s kind of sad to realize that you don’t have time to care about any of these victims. Either the victims are nameless extras. Or they are stereotypical characters like the nasty Russian or the ignorant American. The director decided to create more empathy for the terrorists than for the people stuck in the hotel! How bizarre is that? There’s this one scene where one of the terrorists calls home, hurt because he is shot in the leg and crying. He asks his dad if the leaders of his organization have already donated the money. So, wait a minute, you want us, audience, to feel like money was the reason for the kid to do these horrific killings and we should feel his regret and doubt because he is crying? Ehm. No.

This movie didn’t do well at the box office and wasn’t released in India (yet). Let’s keep it that way.

www.imdb.com/title/tt5461944

This is quite the surprising indie-action thriller !

Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughan are detectives who get suspended after one of them was filmed using an unorthodox technique during a drug bust. They are in financial need – at least Mel Gibson’s character is – and decide to steal money from a criminal. Little do they know that they will get caught up in a horrifying heist.

It’s a very entertaining movie. The acting is solid. Mel Gibson gets rave reviews for this part and with reason. Vince Vaughn and Tory Kittles are excellent too. But the directing is excellent. It’s a slow movie and the scenes are long, but that’s sooo important right now. There’s a whole new generation who will find this incredibly boring, because of its pace and superfluous scenes, but it’s quite nice to see a new movie that shows scenes and not one second fragments. That one scene in the car during the stakeout where Vince Vaughan enjoys eating a sandwich and Mel Gibson then says, after 4 minutes or so, that ‘a single ant could have eaten it faster’… Well that scene is typical for the movie.

There’s also a scene in which a guy tries to swallow an important key to hide it from others. What happens next is predictable, but also done in a very detailed way. It’s pure gore, but clever and detailed and just totally fucked up. But hey, that’s what cinema should be.

Yup. Recommending this. Even though most viewers will find it pretentious.

www.imdb.com/title/tt6491178/ 

Watched this a week ago.

Kinda forgot what it was all about.

Ah yes. Marvel Universe. Female heroine. Sassy Brie Larson. Funny Samuel Jackson. Chase scenes. Aliens. A plot twist. A lot of confusion. Earthlings bonding with aliens against a common evil force. Nineties. Cool soundtrack.

www.imdb.com/title/tt4154664

 

The Meg

Posted: December 19, 2018 in 2018, Action, China, USA

Crap movie #2

Scientists have discovered that underneath the ‘bottom’ of the deepest sea, there is another world. A submarine is able to ‘penetrate’ into this new world, only to be attacked by a monster. There is only one person that can rescue them: Jason Statham. However, in doing so, an opening is created between this new underwater world and the oceans as we know them. Et voila: the monster escapes and is now terrorizing first the scientists and later a beach resort.

This. Movie. Is. Terrible.

When it comes to shark movies, there’s only one really good one. The original Jaws, the best movie of all times. That movie is so clever and flawless and has stood the test of time as well. Many other shark movies have followed and some were actually quite pleasant. But this one is just crap. There is NO horror at all. There are NO thrills at all. There’s hardly any action. And the visual effects are lame. Plus, the humor is childish. Like the four mentions of ‘penetrating’ the new world, followed by giggling of an international cast.

When Jaws came out, a movie was a blockbuster when it made money at the US market. Nowadays, a movie is only a blockbuster when it makes money globally. It’s a trend which has been going on for several years now. An action movie, made with a big budget, needs to not only please North American and European audiences, but it also needs to be a hit in China especially, and in Japan, South Korea, Russia, India, Brasil, etc… Globalism is great. But when it comes to cinema, it’s not. Production companies just make superficial fare to please as many markets as possible. Jaws was so American, yet so universal. This movie is so… nothing.

It makes me want to watch the three Sharknado sequels and appreciate them even more

www.imdb.com/title/tt4779682