Archive for the ‘Children/Family’ Category

Kids’ movies don’t always make good adult movies. Not even when they are made by Tim Burton. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is so flawed, that it’s difficult to focus on the story and watch it until the end.

Nothing works. The story isn’t captivating. It’s probably too complicated for kids anyways. It’s about ‘peculiar’ children (a bit like the X-Men, but then much less awesome) who live in a time loop of 24 hours as a protection against monsters who can turn human again after eating their eyeballs. Yep. Read that sentence again. That’s what it is about. Oh and about a nerdy kid who leave Florida after his grandfather died to find out on an island in Wales what made his dad ‘peculiar’ and what his ‘peculiarity’ is.

Again, nothing works. The acting is bad. Especially because of the terrible dialogue. Some scenes don’t make sense at all. Too many characters are introduced that don’t really need to be in the story at all. There’s no empathy for any of the main characters. Yes, the special effects are fascinating. But that’s about it.

This is NOT a good movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1935859

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Brave – **

Posted: October 2, 2017 in 2016, Animation, Children/Family, USA, XX
Tags: , , ,

Hey, Disney/Pixar Studios, can you make an animated feature movie that shows ALL the stereotypes of Scotland? Put in some folky music, bagpipes of course, the highland games, characters with ginger hair, the accent of course, with words like ‘wee’ every now and then, men wearing kilts and nothing underneath of it, some celtic ritual stones, a lot of ‘pub’ fighting, because that’s what people do in Scotland… Never mind being historically correct. Who cares if the Vikings and the Romans invaded Scotland at the same time. Nobody cares. And don’t worry about making the king look three times the size of the queen. And the children look like they are only one foot tall. Never mind that. Just make it about a heroin. A Girl, yes. A brave one. With Ginger hair of course. And add a scene with a witch and a spell, like in the old days. Oh and some bears. That’s always good fun. And a horse as a side kick. Yeah. Make it and you’ll have a hit.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/

The BFG – (*)

Posted: June 25, 2017 in 1/2, 2016, Children/Family, USA

OMG

What a bore.

Even children may find this incredibly boring.

No humor. No suspense. No drama. No adventure. No story.

This one was tough to finish.

Yawn

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3691740

Ehm.

Not sure what to think of this beautifully animated and original Pacific Islander’s tale. Some elements are extraordinary. The animation itself for instance. It’s a marvel for the eyes. Or the main character, a strong and adventurous female role model. But other elements are just annoying. The side characters for instance. A silly chicken, which comicial use is getting repetitive by the end. A piglet, which only gets three scenes. And a tatoo drawing, which comes to life as some kind of subconsciousness. However, the most annyoing element of them all is the score, with songs that seem to have been composed to sing on a stage in Broadway.

The story isn’t a medieval fairytale, but a legend as told to inhabitants of the Pacific Ocean. It’s a great story about a demigod who stole the heart of a nature goddess, who turned into an evil power, disrupting nature. And a girl, chosen to help the demigod bring back the heart and restore nature. The demigod is voiced by The Rock, who really does a good job to be honest. But the demigod looks awefull! They could have designed him a bit more attractive.

So, yeah.

It’s an okay movie. For kids and their parents. Both will enjoy parts of it. Just not the same.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3521164/

There should be a new MPAA rating that says: Only For Kids!

The set up is cool though. The story tells the adventure of several apartment pets who venture out away from their comfort zone in the quest for a missing dog and his new companion. Most of the scenes are inspired by funny animal clips on youtube. And some of them are funny. One character in particular is hilarious: Gidget. And Kevin Hart forcing a revengeful bunny is also quite unique. But the story itself just doesn’t make a lot of sense. There are a lot of other animation movies out there they give a better feel of satisfaction.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2709768

Based on an autographical book from the seventies, Un Sac De Billes tells the story of the Jewish family Joffo (and in particular the youngest sons Joseph and Maurice) during the Second World War. The family has a popular barber shop in occupied Paris and even has German officers as clients. But when Jewish people need to start wearing a yellow badge, the family decides to flee to unoccupied southern France. Not as one family, but split up. It’s quite a journey, but they make it to Nice, which is in the unoccupied zone and under surveillance of the more moderate Italians soldiers. Until Mussolini is disposed and the nazis come marching in and the family has to flee again.

This classical tearjerker is made for kids. They are the central characters and all focus is on them. It’s adventurous at times and there are some funny scenes too. But it also has some harsh moments that may not be suitable for kids (there is an execution by firing squad f.i.). The movie theatre was filled with adults though, a lot of seniors even. And almost everyone was sobbing. It’s not as good as Au Revoir Les Enfants, but it’s worth the watch. The period setting is praiseworthy and it’s not all that moralizing and pretty factual. The kids’ performances are good. But it’s in the supporting roles dat you see talented actors like Patrick Bruel or Christian Clavier shine.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5091612

Hm.

Maybe it is better to watch all the Harry Potter movies before watching this fantasy tale. At least you’ll get some of the references and understand the bizarre wizard vocabulary a bit more. If you haven’t seen any of them or just one – like me – than it’s just a special effects movie for kids lacking a compelling story or thrilling action, but filled with characters and creatures that will excite any ten year old.

It’s a bit like going to see Rogue One and never having seen any other Star Wars episode. (That said: my expectations for Rogue One are too high to go see it at the moment)

Sure, this Harry Potter spin-off looks great. New York in the 20s always looks exciting. And some of the strange creatures come to live quite realistically. But there’s no story ! At least not for the first hour and a half or so. Only towards the end you kind of see a storyline that is reminiscent of the far superior X-Men or even True Blood saga. We get it. Wizards needs to lay low, not create too much havoc among the No-Majs (humans), just like the mutants and the vampires have to do in the aforementioned series. And there’s a struggle between those wizards who want to live amongst the humans and those who feel their superiority is restrained. We get it! It’s getting boring! Not even Johnny Depp can help. SPOILER ! Depp needs to stop appearing in movies like these because we don’t see a character, we see Depp. Johnny Depp has become Johnny Depp on screen. Regardless of how much make-up you put on!

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3183660