Archive for the ‘2 – Rating’ Category

The Mountain Between Us – **

Posted: October 23, 2017 in 2017, Adventure, Drama, Romance, USA, XX

Took my mom to the cinema to see The Mountain Between Us, a movie which got a lot of bad reviews, but somehow still intrigued. One of the first things my mom said after the end credits rolled was: “Why would reviewers consider this a bad movie?” Yes, reviewers, why?

Sure, it’s predictable. And yes, the chemistry between the main characters isn’t really there. But it’s an entertaining movie. It has beautiful scenes of the Rocky Mountains and the action and adventure is gentle enough for those who go see it for the romantic element. Yes, it’s neither a good adventure movie, nor a gripping romantic drama. Yes, the director should have focused on just one genre, the epic adventure tale especially. But the poster and the trailer already tell you it’s not going to be Into The Wild or The Revenant. 

Both Idris Elba and Kate Winslet are a joy to look at. Even after several days without food or the lack of a hairdresser in the wilderness, they still look very hot. Elba’s beard doesn’t seem to grow at all. Winslet’s bruised face could still be featured in a l’Oreal commercial. Let’s blame the perfect look on the clear, cold weather up in the high mountains! She’s a bit of an annoying, passionate, independent, restless photographer-journalist. He’s a quiet, rational, emotionally timid brain surgeon. Whoever thought the audience would believe they are a perfect match in heaven (well, the mountains – close enough) is wrong.

The movie would have been much better if one of them, or both, died somehow. After surviving Titanic, maybe Winslet should have just given her life for a change. But no.

Love going to the movies with my mom (83). She really enjoyed this one. So fuck reviewers who tell people it’s a bad movie. It’s not. It’s just not a great one.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2226597

 

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The six episodes of season one didn’t quite do it for me. Not sure what all the fuzz is about. It starts off like 28 Days Later, with a guy waking up from a coma in a post apocalypse world where zombies are roaming the streets and where survivors are trying to fight back and secure themselves from the zombies and other survivors. It also makes you think of the canceled BBC show Survivors and plenty of other shows that feature a very diverse group of people needing to live together by force.

The story isn’t really captivating. Nor realistic at all. The metropolitan area of Atlanta has about 6 million inhabitants. You get to see maybe 150 zombies and some 500 dead corpses. Plus a few dozen of survivors. The main character can ride on a horse into the city and not see ANY zombies or dead corpses, but then he gets to Midtown and suddenly he is surrounded by not all that many really. That just doesn’t make sense. Then he reunites with his wife and son after two episodes! Sure it adds to the drama because the wife has started an affair with his best friend in the mean time, who helped her escape. But seriously, after 2 episodes? Then of course you have the horror cliché of always wanting to go back to the horror scene. Also, what is this urge for people to keep living and fight back? Why would you choose to continue living under a constant treat of being killed and eaten by the undead?

You’d think the zombies would be scary, but they are not. They are silly. So the series doesn’t work as a horror show either. And the characters? Well, you have the racist one. The clumsy, chubby African-American one. The wife-beating redneck one. The nagging, cheating wife. The cheating on his best friend aggressive one. The geeky Asian one. Etc… Not really an interesting bunch.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1520211

Kicks – *

Posted: October 7, 2017 in 2016, Coming Of Age, Drama, Gangster Movie, USA, X

A 15 year old, underprivileged kid saves up for a fancy pair of sport shoes that will get him more respect. However, soon after he’s wearing them, he gets beaten up by a bunch of nozems who steal his newly acquired kicks. But he’s not ready to just give up and goes after the thief.

Sounds like a pretty normal children’s movie if you read the synopsis like that. But it’s not. This one bathes in a world full of gun carrying, cocaine sniffing, whoring and pimping young adolescents who record beating up people and then post it online. You do not want your child to see this behavior. It’s all represented as it’s every day life in the hood. There are some interesting elements though. The references to rap songs’ verses. The magical realist astronaut visit. But that’s about it. Not even Mahershala Ali can save it.

The beauty of cinema is that you get absorbed into a world that isn’t yours. That you get confronted, mesmerized and moved. This doesn’t happen here. Good luck next time, Justin Tipping, debuting director.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4254584

T2 – Trainspotting – *(*)

Posted: October 4, 2017 in 2017, Drama, UK, X1/2

Now this is an unnecessary sequel. It’s an okay movie. But it misses the soul of the first one: it’s originality and humor. There’s nothing of that in this one. It also feels like none of the actors really wanted to do this movie. And there’s this terrible, pointless, reoccurring ‘end of an action scene’ freeze moment. Annoying as hell. The story sucks to be honest. And the chemistry between the characters is gone. Especially since they all feel betrayed anyways. The soundtrack sucks as well. Yeah, maybe this isn’t such an okay movie after all. BUT, Edinburgh is much well presented visually. Sell out!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2763304

Kids’ movies don’t always make good adult movies. Not even when they are made by Tim Burton. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is so flawed, that it’s difficult to focus on the story and watch it until the end.

Nothing works. The story isn’t captivating. It’s probably too complicated for kids anyways. It’s about ‘peculiar’ children (a bit like the X-Men, but then much less awesome) who live in a time loop of 24 hours as a protection against monsters who can turn human again after eating their eyeballs. Yep. Read that sentence again. That’s what it is about. Oh and about a nerdy kid who leave Florida after his grandfather died to find out on an island in Wales what made his dad ‘peculiar’ and what his ‘peculiarity’ is.

Again, nothing works. The acting is bad. Especially because of the terrible dialogue. Some scenes don’t make sense at all. Too many characters are introduced that don’t really need to be in the story at all. There’s no empathy for any of the main characters. Yes, the special effects are fascinating. But that’s about it.

This is NOT a good movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1935859

Brave – **

Posted: October 2, 2017 in 2016, Animation, Children/Family, USA, XX
Tags: , , ,

Hey, Disney/Pixar Studios, can you make an animated feature movie that shows ALL the stereotypes of Scotland? Put in some folky music, bagpipes of course, the highland games, characters with ginger hair, the accent of course, with words like ‘wee’ every now and then, men wearing kilts and nothing underneath of it, some celtic ritual stones, a lot of ‘pub’ fighting, because that’s what people do in Scotland… Never mind being historically correct. Who cares if the Vikings and the Romans invaded Scotland at the same time. Nobody cares. And don’t worry about making the king look three times the size of the queen. And the children look like they are only one foot tall. Never mind that. Just make it about a heroin. A Girl, yes. A brave one. With Ginger hair of course. And add a scene with a witch and a spell, like in the old days. Oh and some bears. That’s always good fun. And a horse as a side kick. Yeah. Make it and you’ll have a hit.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/

Classic: Trainspotting – ***

Posted: October 2, 2017 in 1996, Action, Dramedy, UK, XXX

Just back from a visit to Edinburgh. Decided to watch some movies from Scotland. Starting with a classic.

Damn. This movie dates from 1996. Back then, it was a riot! A movie with a killer soundtrack, the first chart topping techno club filler (‘Born Slippy’ by Underworld), the mainstream debut of Ewan McGregor (who’s been EXCELLENT ever since), great surrealist scenes with the main character sinking into a dirty toilet for instance, with Robert Carlyle being incredibly violent, with heroin and shit and hiv and sex and alcohol just splashing around on the main screen. Yeah. Back then, this was THE movie to see.

And, hey, it’s still a pretty cool movie anno 2017.

Favorite line this time around:

Tommy: Doesn’t it make you proud to be Scottish?

Mark “Rent-boy” Renton: It’s SHITE being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We’re ruled by effete arseholes. It’s a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won’t make any fucking difference!

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117951