Archive for the ‘X’ Category

Kicks – *

Posted: October 7, 2017 in 2016, Coming Of Age, Drama, Gangster Movie, USA, X

A 15 year old, underprivileged kid saves up for a fancy pair of sport shoes that will get him more respect. However, soon after he’s wearing them, he gets beaten up by a bunch of nozems who steal his newly acquired kicks. But he’s not ready to just give up and goes after the thief.

Sounds like a pretty normal children’s movie if you read the synopsis like that. But it’s not. This one bathes in a world full of gun carrying, cocaine sniffing, whoring and pimping young adolescents who record beating up people and then post it online. You do not want your child to see this behavior. It’s all represented as it’s every day life in the hood. There are some interesting elements though. The references to rap songs’ verses. The magical realist astronaut visit. But that’s about it. Not even Mahershala Ali can save it.

The beauty of cinema is that you get absorbed into a world that isn’t yours. That you get confronted, mesmerized and moved. This doesn’t happen here. Good luck next time, Justin Tipping, debuting director.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4254584

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Okuribito (Departures) – *

Posted: September 14, 2017 in 2008, Drama, Japan, X

Hm. This won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language movie over Entre Les Murs, the best movie of this century. Un.Be.Lie.Va.Ble! It’s so incredibly boring, I assume none of the voters actually watched it and just read the synopsis and watched the trailer.

Yes, it’s beautifully filmed. And yes, the main actor performs well. But the story just isn’t all that much. A cello player quits his job and moves to his home town, where he finds a job as a caretaker for the deceased. Hence, the title ‘departures’. It’s a job that nobody wants and that is frowned upon. But when done right, the loved ones of the deceased are grateful for the care. Thanks to the job he comes to turns with the departures in his life.

Poetic? Maybe. Boring? Yes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1069238

Long Distance Flight Movie #6

Heard people around me laugh while watching Raid Dingue, a French comedy by the guy who made Bienvenue Chez Les Ch’tis. Not sure why they laughed so much. Yes, it’s a comedy. But the jokes lack subtilty. And are very repetitive. And most of them don’t work. The daughter of the minister of interior has one ambition: to become a member of the national special force unit. She’s stupid though and clumsy, tactless and stubborn. But she is the daughter of a minister and gets admitted to the boot camp. She’s assigned to an experienced officer who wants to get rid of her as soon as possible. Of course, they end up liking each other. And she will turn out not to be that clumsy and stupid. But before that happens, there’s a seemingly endless series of scenes alternating from very bad to kind of funny. Sure, there are some laugh out loud moments, but unfortunately they are rare.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5736696

East Side Sushi – *

Posted: September 13, 2017 in 2014, Drama, USA, X

Long Distance Flight movie #7

A struggling Mexican-American single mom living with her dad is tired of combining a fruit stall vending job with a cleaning job at a fitness center. She loves cooking and decides to apply for a job working in the kitchen of a fancy sushi place. She gets the job, but can only stay in the kitchen even though she has the talent of helping out the chefs who prepare the food in sight of all the customers. When she doesn’t get promoted at the restaurant, she gets all upset, quits and enters a sushi making competition online.

YAWN

It’s really interesting to see how the sushi is prepared. They film it really well. However, it’s like a promo movie by the sushi restaurant organization who want to attract a different crowd: the latino community.

Not sure why reviewers rave about the ‘performance’ of Diana Elisabeth Torres. She’s terrible. She’s the main character and her forced over-acting ruins the movie. All the others are acting bad as well. It’s a debut movie. It feels like a project made by students who graduate at films school. It’s filmed really well.

But the story, the main character and the acting are so incredibly annoying.

ps: Why do movies so often have to explain scenes that are obvious? There’s a word of play joke about her name, Juana. The Japanese for good afternoon is Kon’nichiwa. So, the joke is that the chef calls her Kon’nichijuana. Great. We get the joke. It’s lame, but ok. It works. So, of course, when the chef gives her a special Sake-box with her name on it, it will say ‘Kon’nichijuana’. You really don’t need to SHOW it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2340650

La Fille De Monaco – *

Posted: July 30, 2017 in 2008, Drama, France, Romance, Thriller, X

A lawyer receives protection from a body guard, sent by the son of his client in a murder case. It takes a while, but after a few days there is a connection between both men who like each other’s company.  And just when you think the story will evolve into a gay romantic adventure in Monte Carlo, a young fresh actress appears on screen who steals the heart of everyone. She has her eye set on the lawyer, but dated the bodyguard in the past…

Intriguing plot synopsis.

Poor execution.

Roschdy Zem (the bodyguard) is quite impressive, as always, but he looks lost in the bizarre dialogues and the crazy story that leads to nothing good at all. This was probably set up as a mix between a romantic comedy and crime thriller, but there’s is no romance, no comedy, no crime and no thrilling element….

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1139800

 

The Expendables – *

Posted: July 20, 2017 in 2010, Action, USA, X

There are times when the brain doesn’t want to think and just be entertained. With action and laughter. And a little bit of nostalgia. The Expendables has a lot of car chases/shootings/explosions, silly one liners and cinema heroes from the eighties.

However, somehow, all these elements don’t really make the experience entertaining enough. More than 200 people get killed in this one. (in fact 221 according to Kill Count) But none of them are really killed in a cool Tarantino kind of way. Apart from that one scene where Stallone stabs a guy in the throat and then turns around the knife a few times. Not really cool, but at least it was different.

Yes, it’s a movie with and directed by Sylvester Stallone. And yes, the list of cast members is impressive. But most of them just have cameo’s. That one scene with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger is funny, but redundant. You watch this movie because you want to see the interaction between these guys, not for a one scene joke.

There’s a story of course. But it’s too silly to even start summarizing.

The Expendables 2 is also on the shelf. (they only cost 1 euro). But not sure if it will ever make it to the dvd player.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320253/

Trainwreck – *

Posted: May 18, 2017 in 2015, Comedy, USA, X

Ehm.

No.

Sorry, Amy. You are not thát funny.

For every good joke there are at least twenty bad ones.

And sure, it’s great to play a woman that does whatever women think men do all the time. But it’s not consistent.

So, yeah.

No.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3152624