Archive for the ‘X’ Category

Trainwreck – *

Posted: May 18, 2017 in 2015, Comedy, USA, X

Ehm.

No.

Sorry, Amy. You are not thát funny.

For every good joke there are at least twenty bad ones.

And sure, it’s great to play a woman that does whatever women think men do all the time. But it’s not consistent.

So, yeah.

No.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3152624

Movie night in Caen (Normandy, France).

Conversation at the cashier’s desk:

* So, all movies are dubbed here? 

– Yes, everything is VF. (Version Francaise, French version)

* Shit/Merde

– But you speak French really well!

* Thanks, but I don’t really want to see an American movie in French. 

– How do you watch it then? 

* Euh. The original version (with subtitles).

– We don’t do that here in France. 

* Yes, you do. In Lille, Strasbourg, Lyon and Paris your movie theatre chain shows the original ones. 

–  Ah, but this is Caen. This is France. Maybe you can watch the new King Kong. It’s a silly movie with special effects and not much blabla. 

*  Ok. 

That’s why Kong: Skull Island is on here. A movie, so silly, you can watch it in the dubbed version and feel like you haven’t missed the original language at all. Because it is very clear that Warner Studios made this movie to be dubbed in any single language in the world to attract the largest crowd possible. Moonlight it is not.

At times the movie has a flash of excitement. It’s actually quite cool to set the story in the seventies, accompanied by a soundtrack with classics from that decade. The beginning actually makes sense. A ‘lost’ Vietnam war resulting in a bitter colonel out for a successful mission. The introduction of new technology (satellites) discovering an unknown island. The cold war enticing a race for any new discovery against the Russians… In fact, once they arrive on the island they are met by Kong, the giant gorilla living on the island, who single-handedly smashes all the helicopters entering his territory. You don’t have to wait until the finale to see the creature make his presence. All pretty cool.

But then it starts becoming a bit ridiculous with references to all kinds of movies from the past. It’s like Jurassic Park meets Apocalypse Now meets a World Wrestling Federation smackdown. That ‘fight’ between Kong and some vicious raptor will excite all the MMA fans out there. And the acting is terrible. The Oscar winning Brie Larson can get ready to win a Razzie now…

But. It’s worth switching off your brain for and not leaving the theatre.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3731562

the french trailer (of course)

 

Café Society – *

Posted: February 1, 2017 in 2016, romcom, USA, X

Nerdy Jew goes to Hollywood in the hope his rich uncle will give him a job in the movie industry. There he meets his uncle’s hot secretary and falls in love. Unfortunately, the girl already has a boyfriend even though she loves spending time with her new ‘best friend’. When her boyfriend breaks up, he’s quick to use her vulnerability to score. All goes fine until the ex boyfriend divorces from his wife and tries to get back with the secretary. Yes, HIS secretary.

This very predictable romcom lacks romance nor comedy. It’s an incredibly boring story told by an uninspired storyteller and performed by actors who miss the talent of reciting funny dialogue and lack chemistry when put next to each other.

It’s the kind of movie that makes you understand why some people find Woody Allen (director) and Kirsten Stewart (the secretary) overrated. It’s the kind of movie that proofs again that Jesse Eisenberg (the nerdy jew) is a very boring and annoying actor to look at.

Oh, but the set design and recreation of thirties Hollywood en New York safe it from being a total waste of time.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4513674

 

If you’re a fan of Batman or Superman or any DC comic, you may appreciate this action vehicle. If you’re not, you’ll get easily bored. In fact, after half an hour, you’ll be checking your instagram account, getting something out of the fridge, go to the washroom, make a phone call, chat a bit on whatsap, check the score of the movie on metaritic and leave twitter with the hashtag #whydowefeeltheneedtowatchbadmoviesuntiltheend .

The first half hour is okay though. Kinda looks promising with its stellar cast. It has Amy Adams as Lois Lane! But no-one stands out. There are absolutely no acting skills required for their parts. They could have just used debutants. The action is ok. The special effects as well done. Probably more efficient in a movie theatre than at home. But the story. There’s just too much going on. And none of it makes sense. What’s the deal with alien-phobic humans and Batman being afraid of the supernatural powers of Superman who only means well. And what’s the beef between Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne? Go dig deeper, team of scriptwriters!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2975590/

This looked like it would be a fun movie to watch. The trailer promises quirky humor and some action and adventure for both kids and adults. And there is some quirky humor and some action and some adventure. But this is for kids really. Not for adults.

The soundtrack is annoying as hell. The kid is annoying as hell. Sam Neill is annoying as hell. Almost all the side characters are annoying as hell. The CGI is annoying as hell.

So, yeah, disappointing. Not sure how this can win so many awards.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4698684

 

 

Miles Ahead – *

Posted: December 23, 2016 in 2015, Experiment, USA, X
Tags: ,

Hm.

This is a tough one.

This is just so damn weird that you just can’t say it’s good or bad.

There’s a reason why the release of this movie was postponed so often. It’s just difficult to sell. It’s definitely not a biopic. It’s a kind of action movie in which Miles Davis teams up with a music journalist and runs around chasing a stolen tape, while taking lots of coke and waving a gun around like some wannabe gangster. This happens 5 years after he quit the music business and became a messed-up addict, being pushed by fans and producers to release new music. There are flashbacks to a time when he met his wife, married her and struggled with paranoia already. There’s a performance at the end. And that’s it.

Both McGregor and Cheadle are disappointing. Keith Stanfield looks like he can do great things later on.

Luckily, it’s a very short movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790770

Cas – *

Posted: December 12, 2016 in 2016, LGBT themed, Netherlands, Romance, X

A Dutch couple offers a young Flemish student a place to stay. The couple has been having some issues lately, with one of the partners waiting to go on a trip around the world and the other planning the next step in their relationship: a baby. The new flatmate causes even more friction. But he also brings the two closer together and triggers them to talk about what’s really bugging them.

Cas is a tv movie that just happened to be on after the news on BVN (the Dutch/ Flemish international television channel). The beginning intrigues. Somehow it starts off as a possible thriller. But soon it becomes clear that it’s much ado about nothing. The acting of the Dutch couple isn’t all that bad, but there just isn’t a real story. There’s a couple who pretend to be in the perfect relationship until someone shows up who makes them express what they really want in life. And that’s not exactly the same.

It’s only 50 minutes long. It’s over before you really start getting annoyed. It’s the kind of movie you don’t regret having seen, but wouldn’t recommend to anyone.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5858380/