Archive for the ‘2016’ Category

The BFG – (*)

Posted: June 25, 2017 in 1/2, 2016, Children/Family, USA

OMG

What a bore.

Even children may find this incredibly boring.

No humor. No suspense. No drama. No adventure. No story.

This one was tough to finish.

Yawn

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3691740

Christine – *(*)

Posted: May 18, 2017 in 2016, Drama, USA, X1/2

This is one of the rare cases where you do want to give the end away to understand what the story is leading up to:  a journalist commits suicide, live on tv. There you go. It’s also the only real fact that is historically correct. All the rest, the leading up to the finale, is just an interpretation of what this woman may have gone through in the days leading up to her death. It really helps to know that this is a movie about a woman committing suicide, because after an hour into the movie your patience will be tested. Woody Allen did a better job depicting a mentally unstable, but still functioning character in Blue Jasmin, a movie in which both the director, storyteller and actress equal each others’ talent. In Christine it’s basically just Rebecca Hall who steals the show and carries the project. She’s really good, but can’t help make you wonder where the story actually will lead you to.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4666726

There should be a new MPAA rating that says: Only For Kids!

The set up is cool though. The story tells the adventure of several apartment pets who venture out away from their comfort zone in the quest for a missing dog and his new companion. Most of the scenes are inspired by funny animal clips on youtube. And some of them are funny. One character in particular is hilarious: Gidget. And Kevin Hart forcing a revengeful bunny is also quite unique. But the story itself just doesn’t make a lot of sense. There are a lot of other animation movies out there they give a better feel of satisfaction.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2709768

Sausage Party – **

Posted: May 8, 2017 in 2016, Animation, Comedy, Parody, USA, XX

Sausage Party would have been an excellent animated short. But animated shorts don’t make any profit and movie making is all about making profit. So Sausage Party became a feature animated movie that has some really clever and funny moments, but has even more redundant scenes. The set up is great though. The products in a supermarket assume that the humans who purchase them are Gods and will take them to the heavenly Great Beyond. Until, of course, some products discover the truth…

That set up is brilliant. The mockery of mass religion is daring and brave. The references to some of our current human situations are legio and often well thought of. However, for every high brow social comment joke there’s an ordinary platitude or sexual insinuation. In fact, there are more of the latter. Some are clever and funny too. There are just too many of them.

The main characters are a hot dog sausage (voided by Seth Rogen – perfect for the job) and a bun (voiced by Kirstin Wiig), who dream of ending up at the same human’s house so they can finally meet and be together. A sausage dreaming of being squeezed into a bun. A bun dreaming of having a sausage inside of her! It’s funny in the trailer and it’s funny the first 10 minutes of the movie. It’s just not funny anymore after half an hour, nor after an hour, nor after an hour and a half. By the time the Taco (voiced by Salma Hayek) wants to join in on the fun between the hotdog and the bun, it’s really not cool anymore. The makers decided to use all the stereotypical prejudiced voices and character types for its characters. The bagel is Jewish (Ed Norton sounding like Woody Allen), the Salsa is Mexican, etc…

It’s a very American animated movie. A lot of products are not known under the same name in Europe. So that kind of is annoying. And some characters in the movie are not edible at all. The Vaginal Douche is in there just for the gross jokes. And the Toilet Paper as well. But it would have been much more ‘realistic’ if the characters would just be food.

Anyways. It makes you laugh most of the time. So watch it. It’s only 99 cent as a rental on iTunes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1700841/

Don’t Breathe – **

Posted: April 26, 2017 in 2016, Thriller, USA, XX

Three young burglars make the wrong move by breaking into the house of a blind man. The man isn’t helpless, on the contrary. In fact he has his own little dirty secrets as well. Will they ever get out alive?

Don’t Breathe does what it needs to do: excite and thrill until the very last moment. There are few unexpected surprises, which make up for the predictable story telling. It’s a pretty standard movie with few locations, few actors and haunting cinematography. It works. While you’re watching it. But it isn’t memorable.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4160708

Hidden Figures – ***

Posted: April 5, 2017 in 2016, Civil Rights, Drama, USA, XXX

Hidden Figures is light-hearted, but memorable. It’s a movie for the largest audience possible. It’s a chick-flick with a masculine theme. It has three black women in the lead who anyone can relate to, regardless of the color of their skin. It’s a period drama, with references to today’s society. It’s a movie for young and old. For black and white. For men and women. It’s positive. It’s good. It’s a jackpot. It only has one flaw: Jim Parsons. Of all people they could cast as an annoying math scientist they chose Sheldon! But he only has a few lines. So you’ll survive. Watch it. Period.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4846340

Jackie – *(*)

Posted: April 5, 2017 in 2016, biopic, Chile, Drama, USA, X1/2

Hm.

Nathalie Portman is great as Jackie Kennedy. She would have deserved an Oscar. In fact, she’s the only reason why you really need to see this movie. She’s in almost every scene and even though her character isn’t the easiest to empathize with, she doesn’t bore. The writing is good too. The story focuses on the aftermath of the assassination of JFK. You don’t get to learn anything about her life before and after this terrible act. Apart from that one time she hosted a television crew inside the White House. But that’s fine. You get to watch her for 2 hours in the most difficult period of her life. Great.

Yet somehow this isn’t a great movie.

The soundtrack is so annoying that it disturbs the entire atmosphere of the movie. Magnificent according to the Guardian. Terrible according to many user reviews on imdb. Make up your mind. The other members of the cast play second fiddle and can’t even pull that off. This is Nathalie Portman’s show and the other actors look like they are auditioning for a part.

When you’re annoyed throughout the entire movie, it’s not a good movie. No matter how excellent the lead is.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1619029/